Curatorial Statement

“Choosing Children” and “Dear Gabe” explore the hardships and struggles lesbian and queer women, especially mothers and children, must endure. “Choosing Children” stems into the different paths lesbian women have taken in order to become mothers, for example, artificial insemination. This film also explains the many boundaries lesbian women must surpass in order to adopt children, along with the unfairness of the system. Even when a lesbian woman goes through great lengths to achieve adoption, the co-parent does not receive legal rights of the children. “Dear Gabe” further describes the many lesbian and queer lives that have lead a “traditional” role in a not-so-traditional way. This movie shows the audience the challenges society puts upon lesbians, such as portraying a certain gender role. For example, the social pressure to marry someone of the opposite sex. No matter what kind of relationship women chose to involve themselves in, there is always the continuous battle over gender roles. Both of these films interview and characterize the lives of lesbian and queer women, and the fact that they still have to deal with gender roles no matter what their choice of life might be. Whether it is a lesbian or heterosexual relationship, women must battle over how to act and who does what, but most importantly the constant pressure to be traditional. Furthermore, both films prove that no matter how many bridges must be crossed and how much hardship must be conquered, these women are strong and surpass their fulfillment as both women and mothers.

Choosing Children

1984
Directed by: Debra Chasnoff, Kim Klausner


The documentary "Choosing Children" demonstrated the difficulties of parenthood that many lesbian mothers face. Some of the mothers had children from prior marriages and discussed the challenges of raising their children as divorced lesbian mothers, while other mothers choose to adopt children. The adoption process was another hurdle that these mothers had to overcome, often times facing discrimination and rejection from the agencies because of their sexual orientation and the possibility of losing custody of the adopted child if the couple ever split often occupied their minds. The biological or legal guardian would get custody of the child, while the co-parent would not receive any legal rights. To avoid the hassle of adopting other lesbian couples turned to artificial insemination or their male friends to have children. Despite all the challenges these women faced they were determined to have children, no matter how long it took. "Choosing Children" examines the experiences of various lesbians with children. For example, some of the lesbians got pregnant via a male friend, some elected to use artificial insemination, and there was even a 50/50 lesbian/straight male relationship. The legal hardships of being a lesbian mother are explored, with analysis of how elective adoption agencies can be towards lesbians. Not to mention the fact that a co-mother has almost no rights legally. Additionally, this film also explores the stress many lesbians have to deal with, such as the stress a lesbian mother has to endure with an ex lover. The movie also conducts interviews with children who have lesbian mothers. Furthermore, the prevalent themes in this film are the hardships associated with being a lesbian mother, and the perseverance displayed by many lesbian mothers who are willing to go great lengths to raise a child.

A Brief response by the directors regarding the film's restoration by OUTFEST:
http://groundspark.org/2767

Critical Questions:
http://www.cambridgedocumentaryfilms.org/children.html

IMDB:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0136754/

Dear Gabe

2003
Directed by: Alexandra Juhasz


“Dear Gabe” is a video- letter created by a lesbian mother to her son. It is a video that reveals the filmmaker's "queer and wonderful family" through an array of images, written excerpts, and interviews of her female friends from college. Each woman has her own family, career, and story on living life as a contemporary feminist, which among other titles, make them all the non- traditional family. While most of the women are lesbians, a couple of them did join in heterosexual marriage, although by no means do they consider themselves traditional. The women all talk about the issues on challenging the gender roles that are established in society. The filmmaker calls herself and her friends a "community of rebels; challenging the status quo." This film shows us how a family may be queer for many more reasons that just the sexuality of the parents, and how women married to men still have to face the issue of gender roles in parenting. The expectations that society has of women and those that women have of themselves are not always in line, but these women chose to follow their own paths. They all struggled through many hardships, the death of a good friend being that which inspires the film. However, they managed to defy and go beyond the roles expected of mothers, whether they're all lesbians or not, but definitely are all queer.



Film website:
http://pzacad.pitzer.edu/~ajuhasz/dear_gabe/index.htm

View the full film:
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/dear_gabe/

Review:
http://www.newuniversity.org/2003/11/entertainment/feminist_film_dear_gabe126/

IMDB:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1537453/

Group members and Credits

Rayven Battles: Screened Dear Gabe and Choosing Children, Revised summaries of both films
Betty Dankongkakul: Screened Dear Gabe and Choosing Children, Summary of Dear Gabe
Diana Gonzalez: Introduction and title to the program, Final summaries of both films
Chris Reyes: Film stills, Program format and post
Sina Salessi: Screened Choosing Children, Summary of Choosing Children